Hello Ladies! I know that sometimes the dating world can ultimately feel like a huge guessing game. It seems that only if you are a skilled game player will you win the awesome gentleman behind door number 2. Allow me to equip you with some pointers that will make your dating life successful rather then a game of chance.
Recently, a young woman named Kat wrote me about the laws of dating.
Kat’s question:
“If you exchange phone numbers with a guy, do you call the guy first or do you wait till he calls you? How long do you wait till you call him?”
Juliette’s answer:
Funny you should ask that Kat, I just watched SWINGERS for the first time last night, a great movie about the male mind if you ask me, but anyway, they discussed this very topic. They argued that a person should wait 2 days, or maybe 3. Then the male lead made the mistake of calling the girl he had just met that night at 2:30am and left a series of desperate messages. What can we learn from this? Although, there is no hard and fast rule for which sex should make the call, or how long one should wait, you do want to let the situation breathe a little bit. Wait until the next day at least and at a reasonable hour. This gives you time to get the nerves out of your system a little bit while still making the person feel valued. I personally know that if a guy waited 3 days to call me, I’d already be on to the next. Give it a little time, but not too much!
Kat’s question:
“Should you play hard to get or no?”
Juliette’s answer:
Oh girl, the key word in that sentence is “play”. Never play games. Sure, they can bring instant and temporary gratification sometimes, meaning that the guy may play along in the moment. Yet, ultimately you will wind up in a relationship that is phony and manipulative. Wouldn’t you rather just know what a person was thinking and be able to openly communicate your thoughts as well? If you like someone, it is a balance. You don’t want to appear needy or desperate, but don’t pretend you don’t like them either. Be friendly and be available. Flirting goes a long way. I honestly believe if a guy is into you, he WILL ask you out, especially if he knows you are a sweet girl who won’t play games.
Kat’s question:
“Can you email the guy you like first or should you wait for him to email you first?”
Juliette’s answer:
Again Kat, there is no exact rule for this. Find your own personal balance. I know it weirds me out if I meet a person and that same day they contact me, but the next day is great. Everyone has their own comfort levels though which is why this isn’t something you can make a science out of. Do what feels right, make sure it’s not coming out of a place of desperation, and then send a brief “it was night to meet you” email. If he is into you, he’ll respond. But if you decide to be pursued, that’s okay too. Again, do what feels right to you.
Thanks for your great questions Kat and I encourage all of you curious ladies out there to email me at juliette@girlsguidetodating.com.
For such a group outing, I highly recommend keeping it casual and fun by organizing a little sporting event in the park. Get your friends together to play a game of baseball! Top it off by having everyone bring a food or drink item to share in a romantic picnic together. And who knows, maybe your single friends will have a love connection scoring you and your guy a great new couple for double dating. Most importantly, all of that time in a group setting is sure to make your date crave some sexy alone time with just you!
